Whenever I get asked about how my boyfriend and I met, my go-to response is,
‘He was just some guy sitting next to me on the bus ride to Jakarta.’
Sounds like a rom-com plot, doesn’t it? We’re still wrapping our heads around it ourselves.
We started as two strangers with nothing in common—different cities, different lives, no mutual buddies to bridge the gap.
And let’s talk about the age gap—I was already out of college when he was wrapping up high school. Just for the record, he was 23 at the time, so no worries there.
So, what’s the story behind me and this once-random, younger bus companion turning into something serious?
Hang tight, because I’m about to list all the mini moments that led me to realize he’s ‘the one.’
All Five Love Languages
In the romance department, I was used to a one-note kind of affection, maybe two if I was lucky. It always seemed like past partners had their own love language, never quite speaking mine.
But then he came along, and it was like he just got it. He knew exactly how to show he cared in ways that spoke right to my heart. No need for me to drop hints, no fuss, and the best part? He started this sweet symphony of care even before we officially became ‘us'.
First, act of service
That unforgettable afternoon on the bus, when the sun’s glare became too much, he didn’t hesitate to shield me with his seat cushion. His simple ‘Keep talking, I’m listening,’ as he blocked the sunlight, left me utterly speechless.
I was so captivated by his thoughtful gesture that I forgot everything else. It was a defining moment, one that truly showcased his caring nature.
Fast forward a year, and he’s still the same incredible person. No matter the mood or the moment, he’s there for me, treating me with the utmost care. He’s the guy who effortlessly carries my bag, ties my shoelaces, and retrieves my fork without missing a beat.
His dedication didn’t stop there. When I began my new job, he took days off just to support me, commuting 60 km back and forth to ensure I never felt alone. His selflessness never waned, not once did he utter a word of complaint.
Next, words of affirmation
Every single day, without fail, he tells me I’m beautiful. It doesn’t matter if I’m dressed to the nines or feeling under the weather, makeup-free, with my complexion pale and lips a shade too dark—he looks into my eyes and sees beauty.
I used to be riddled with self-doubt, always feeling less than, always thinking people stared because something was off about my look.
But with him, it’s different. When we’re out, maybe passing by someone stunning, I sneak a glance his way, wondering if he’s as taken as I am. And you know what? He never gives them a second look. His attention is all on me, whether we’re mid-conversation, sharing a quiet moment, or just commuting through the city.
His presence has transformed me. I’ve grown into a woman who embraces her natural self, confident and unafraid. His words of affirmation go beyond the surface; they’re a celebration of my victories and a comfort in my setbacks.
He’s my cheerleader, always there with a ‘That’s my girl,’ when I succeed, and a reassuring ‘It’s cool, love, you've done your best,’ when I don’t. His support isn’t just lip service; he’s the real deal. Diving into video editing for my YouTube comeback, finding solutions when my laptop fails me, and even co-writing articles back on my freelancer days when deadlines loom—he’s been my rock.
And when I landed my current job, his humility shone through.
‘You did awesome, dear. I’m so proud of you,’ he’d say, giving me all the credit.
His unwavering belief in me has been my guiding star, and no matter what the future holds, I know I’ve been blessed to have him in my life.
Third, quality time
Looking back, memories with my exes are like distant, blurry snapshots. But with him, every moment is vivid and unforgettable.
I was the queen of staying in, the kind of girl who’d only venture out if the house was on fire—at least that’s what my family teased. But he changed all that. He lured me out of my sanctuary, and now I’m hooked on the sights and sounds of Jakarta—as long as he’s by my side.
Life with him is an endless series of adventures. Whether we’re navigating the city on the TJ, sharing laughs, or just sipping milk at the MRT station watching trains go by, every second is special.
He’s the master of making time. Our weekend dates, spontaneous meet-ups after work—he’s always there. Even when his friends call, he chooses me, every single time.
With him, I’m the main event, the VIP in his life. I’m eagerly counting down the moments until he returns. His love has turned my world upside down, and I can’t wait to see where our journey takes us next.
Next, giving gifts
He’s the ultimate giver, showering me with his time, sweet words, and thoughtful presents. Whether it’s a whimsical toy, a delicious treat, or the latest gadget I’ve been eyeing, he’s on it—no subtle hints required. He understands my independent streak and my tendency to blush easily, so he’s always on the lookout, ready to surprise me with something I’d love.
To some, his gifts might seem modest, but to me, they’re treasures. I’m aware of the sacrifices he makes, the portion of his earnings he dedicates to bringing a smile to my face.
Having been in the workforce myself for quite some time, I know the value of hard-earned money, particularly in a bustling metropolis. I’m intimately familiar with his finances, and it’s evident he spares no expense when it comes to making me happy—and he does it all without a hint of complaint.
He firmly believes, ‘You deserve the best of everything in the world,’ and his actions speak volumes of that belief.
Last but not least, physical touch
He’s the kind of guy who gets a little upset if I don’t grab his hand or hook my arm in his, especially when we’re walking by a busy street. He’s not being overbearing; he just doesn’t want me to feel overwhelmed by the bustling crowd, knowing I’m not the fastest walker and that I can get anxious easily.
Our first ride on the Transjakarta is etched in my memory. I needed frequent breaks just to sit and catch my breath, trying to keep my anxiety at bay. Without those moments of rest, I’d be a mess—heart pounding, sweating, struggling for air.
But he’s always there, finding a quiet corner, taking my hand, and whispering with the utmost tenderness,
‘Take all the time you need. There’s no rush. I’m right here with you.’
And he means it. He’ll wait as long as it takes, without a single word of complaint.
His understanding is a gift. Others might dismiss my feelings as an overreaction, but he sees them for what they are. He acknowledges my emotions and prioritizes my comfort above everything else.
That viral yellow duck toy
You know, he’s always been the king of surprises, always ready to go the extra mile for a smile. Take that time when a quirky yellow duck toy caught my eye on TikTok. It was all the rage, and with my birthday just around the corner, he was set on making it mine.
Finding it seemed easy enough, but oh, how we were mistaken. That little duck had flown the coop, sold out in every corner of the city. For weeks on end, he’d dash into every Indomar*t we stumbled upon, eyes peeled for that restock.
There were plenty of other toys, sure, different shades and creatures, but none held a candle to the yellow duck I yearned for. His determination was unwavering, and eventually, it paid off.
To some, craving a toy as an adult might sound trivial, but for me, it was monumental. It was the first time I let ‘little Salsa’ within me reach out for something purely delightful. Critics might scoff, claiming I’m past the age of plushies, but I’ve always craved a cuddly companion for those solitary, gloomy moments.
I braced for his chuckle, dismissing my whimsical wish, but he simply nodded and embarked on this epic treasure hunt. And when I quizzed him about the most heartfelt gift he’s ever given, without skipping a beat, he said, ‘The yellow duck toy,’ because it brought me unparalleled joy.
That tiny yellow duck is more than just a toy; it’s a beacon of joy, a reminder that ‘little Salsa’ is always there, ready to leap into a world of wonder whenever he’s by my side.
"I'm not scolding you"
Right from the start, we’ve been all about the deep talks, dreaming up our forever and what comes after ‘I do.’ Then one evening, we got real about money matters for our future. Usually, it’s all giggles and easy chatter, but that night, we stumbled—our first big bump in the road. Things got a bit heated, but we gave each other the floor, truly hearing each other out.
As he shared his take, I caught myself shrinking back, nerves all tangled up. He noticed, hit pause, and gently nudged me to meet his eyes on my phone screen.
'Hey, I’m not upset with you. Just look at me, okay?'
His words struck a chord, and the tears just started flowing.
'We’re on the same team here. Your voice matters. We’re just trying to sync up, that’s all. I’m not pointing fingers. So let’s stay strong and figure this out together, okay?'
In that moment, I just broke down. It was like a huge burden had been lifted. It dawned on me that my go-to move, ducking away and going silent, was my shield whenever I felt criticized. I was so used to being dismissed that I braced for every suggestion to feel like a telling-off.
But his kind words that night unlocked something in me, letting ‘Little Salsa’ step out from the shadows where she’d been hiding, feeling small and overlooked.
Since that talk, I’ve been learning to hold my own. At first, just locking eyes with him would bring me to tears, but now, I can face a disagreement with a clear head and heart, making my point without fear.
Turns out, ‘Little Salsa’s’ barriers weren’t as solid as they seemed. They melted away with his simple assurance, ‘I’m not scolding you, promise.’
"Are you doing alright?"
Let’s rewind to a day that was a bit of a rollercoaster. We had this tiff, about something that now seems so trivial, but back then, we were both frazzled and missing each other something fierce.
He came up with the idea to hash it out at a cozy café just a stone’s throw from my place, after Maghrib. On my way over, my mind was racing with all sorts of gloomy thoughts, fearing we were on the brink of goodbye. I was so wrapped up in my worries, I didn’t even realize I was the first to get there.
I grabbed my favorite drink and settled in, letting him know I’d arrived. Not long after, he walked in, flashed me a reassuring grin, and went to order his own.
I was all set for a chilly vibe or some sharp words, but guess what he said as he joined me?
'Are you doing alright?'
Just like that, his voice full of warmth and worry, not a hint of irritation. Right in the thick of our spat, he was all about making sure I was okay.
To cut a long story short, we smoothed things over and our bond’s as solid as ever. During our entire conversation, he didn’t play the blame game; he was just checking in to see if I was up for the challenge of being with someone who craves heaps of my time and care.
That whole ordeal was a real eye-opener—I learned that I don’t need to fear heartache or being left in the dust over a little clash. With him, it’s crystal clear that we both value each other’s happiness enough to tackle any hurdle together.
Feels like my social anxiety never exists
Rewind to a chapter in my life where anxiety was the main character, and my friends were the supporting cast in countless tear-jerker phone scenes. The thought of braving a crowd or a stuffy room alone was like a scene from a horror flick—until he stepped into the story.
He’s practically the ambassador for public transport, and early in our love story, he pitched the idea of a library date at the National Library. The plot twist? We’d ride the Transjakarta. He knew all about my anxiety script, yet he gently coaxed me to flip the page, assuring me we could bookmark and return if I wasn’t ready to turn the next page.
As our date approached, he scripted out our route, preparing me for the crowd scenes and the journey ahead. And when the day came, he was patience personified, never fast-forwarding me, even as the world zoomed past.
Our journey was a slow-motion montage, filled with pauses to help me adjust to the setting. The library was alive with the sound of kids, and the heat was like a spotlight. I was spent, but underneath it all, there was this buzz—I’d navigated the public transport plotline without a single plot twist of panic.
His steadfast role in my saga has been nothing short of a plot development. Now, I’m the solo protagonist, exploring the city with a script of confidence. His tutorials in courage have been my backstory, especially now that I’ve landed a role far from my home set. Thanks to him, my daily commute isn’t just a journey, it’s a narrative of security.
Join my first, be my first
Riding the Transjakarta is just the tip of the iceberg. Since we started dating, I’ve been introduced to a world of new experiences—museum jaunts, foodie adventures, cozy library dates, gaming sessions, and movie marathons. With him, even the simplest things, like a walk along the Transjakarta route or cooking lunch, turn into memorable dates.
Sometimes, I catch myself wondering how different life would be without him. He’s become a part of my Jakarta, a city now rich with our shared memories. He’s the one who’s taught me so much about life in this past year.
Strolling through Gambir Station, I can’t help but giggle at the memory of his loafer falling apart, and us scrambling to fix it with glue at Hoka-Hoka Bento.
Every time I pass the Sandratek bus stop, I instinctively glance out, half-expecting to see him there—it’s his usual spot to hop on the bus.
And IKEA? It’s no longer just a store. It’s where we dreamed up our future home, wandering through the aisles, planning every detail together.
My wishes for my sunset
Today marks the day it all began, on a bus ride that almost wasn’t. Had the tickets for May 14 not sold out, forcing me to travel on May 15, I might never have crossed paths with him.
Had I not responded to his brave attempt at conversation, I could’ve missed out on knowing such a wonderful soul.
Had I not found the courage to reach out after a month of silence, I might’ve lost the chance at the kind of love I’d started to think wasn’t in the cards for me.
This blog is called ‘Sunset and North Star’ for good reason. He calls me his North Star, the guiding light that led him to a life filled with meaning, truth, and hope. And to me, he’s the Sunset—warm, beautiful, and soothing as the day winds down, the last light I hope to see each day of my life.
I dream of decades together, yet I know that we’re not the ones in control—fate is. If life takes a turn, whether by divine will or the natural course of time, he’ll remain the man I hold in the highest regard, the one I’m eternally thankful for.
His presence has made me stronger, more confident, and set me on a path straight and true. He’s reignited my dreams and given me the hope to chase them. He’s shown me that I deserve love and tenderness.
The future may be a mystery, but one thing is crystal clear: I want the world to know just how proud I am of this man and how much joy he’s brought me this past year.
Thank you, my love, for a year brimming with memories and lessons. Here’s to building our future, side by side.
With all my love,
Your North Star